The Prize

It was a dark day. The stars are starting to reign the night sky while the bluish moon that towers over them all in spite of it being the tiniest celestial body when compared not under the subjective and sometimes deceptive senses of ours begins to assume its usurped dominion. However, what lies above matters not as I gaze upon the even darker scenery of what lies beneath them. Jerome and Tricia whose intertwined paths are in danger of breaking as the fault of dissipating love which was once what bonded their roads threatens to completely crack open to swallow them whole. No. To swallow us whole.

"It is not your fault", Tricia whispered as she tried to contain her tears as she tightly grasp the sleeves of Jerome’s black polo, her head reluctantly resting on his chest.  Her eyes looked straightly at mine as she struggled to mouth the word "Prize" as if to call me near.

Those eyes which beseech me of help. Eyes of a hapless vulnerable young girl longing for a princely knight to come take her away. Eyes that wish for this moment to be a mere dream, evanescing at a wake’s notice. Eyes which persistently seek my presence, as if I hold the power for all these painful adversities to vanish at my command.

Truth be told, I am equally helpless to alleviate the moment’s pangs and yet these people keep beguiling me into the void of their torment. In similar vein that Tricia’s eyes struck my core for aid, Jerome priorly told me, "Your presence would make the moment bearable."

Bearing no hint on what and how I should act, I sat and leaned on a nearby tree. I pulled my mobile phone from my side pocket, placed the damaged but still working headphones on my ears, closed my eyes, then played whatever music my MP3 player would randomly pick for me:

Then my heart did time in Siberia
Was waiting for the lie to come true
‘Cause it’s all so dark and mysterious
When the one you want doesn’t want you too

I momentarily opened my eyes. That’s when her eyes met mine. She no longer feels the love that she once had for him. The emotions and romance that once plagued them have drifted far and wide to the ethers of nonexistence. She wished not for this to happen and yet it did. She did give it a try, forcing the once formidable feelings to reemerge from her confused and hurting heart. Weeks passed and the only thing that surfaced was a tightening and turbulent constriction on her chest as she realized that she is about to hurt the very person who have done nothing but offer his unfettered devotion.

I just smiled and said "Let go of me,
Now, there’s something I just gotta know
Did someone else steal my part?"
She said it’s not my fault

"But… why?" I am aware of the many things that he wished to let her know. I know since he told me. And yet that was the only thing that proceeded out of his lips. He wanted to say how much he loves her. A love that no words are able to justify as to its precise meaning. He did anything he could to satisfy her whim. He is willing to walk an extra mile as well. "If she wished me to send her roses to greet her every morning I’ll do it. Does she want me to take her on a a lavish date? I’ll make ends meet and take her there. Does she wish to be pampered with loving kisses and warm embraces? I shall not cease to do so for as long as I could." Jerome went on and on as I lie quietly on the black sofa of his room.

I was drifting in between, like I was
On the outside looking in (yeah)
And in my dreams you are still here
Like you’ve always been, oh

I used to lie down on that black sofa for comfort as I partake in my own share of  immersed pondering. Its softness is just right. My neck is amply supported for long sessions of musings by its protruding cushion edge. Its color takes me to a dark portal of profoundity, sending  me into fool’s paradise, the only place where I can meet the one my heart beats for. But now, I cannot drift into the depths of my fancies even if I want to. All it reminded me is the reality that bites, no, that gnaws the person confiding to me. Shall my fate be the same? Will the serendipity that gently guided me to experience the most intense of all emotions be, in the end, morphed into a dark vile fate of a heart shattered into thousand pieces? There is indeed a reason why such a term as "twist" of fate was concocted.

I gave myself away completely
But you just couldn’t see me
Though, I was sleeping in your bed
‘Cause someone else was on your mind
And in your head

"I did not want to fall for ‘him’. Tell me, I know you know what I am talking about, did I choose to fall hard to someone else?" Those were the words that welcomed me as I open the door of my room. Indeed, she speaks of the truth. It requires not a genius to understand how dejected she is by mere glance of her eyes, eyes wrought of pain, detained for such a long time, barely can she contained the desire for release of what lies beneath those tired and hurting brown eyes. I also wonder too why our nature was configured in such a way that such cruel aspect of reality is even possible in the first place. Soul mates, kindred spirits, intertwined souls, "two hearts, two souls, two minds, one destiny", these conceptual abstractions that she used to  curiously, gleefully, and blushingly implore of me to expound all sound facetious now. What lies in front of me is now a broken heart, wanting to be mend.

I opened my eyes. I looked at my cell phone. It’s the seventh song already. I raised my head, seeing the two beginning to part now. Astoundingly, I found no tears dripping on their crestfallen faces. And yet their hearts cannot lie of the persistent truth that keeps on creeping out from their torn souls. I can vividly hear the loudest of cries in their heart of hearts.

As I rest under the shade of this very tree, the reality of this game called love started to forcefully impinge itself on my senses. I have realized that though I have learned quite a lot about attraction, seduction, and courtship in the last 24 years of my life, my knowledge of how to maintain a healthy relationship is virtually nil.

And yet I have also already realized that being in a committed relationship has brought me far greater satisfaction and joy than any flirtatious flings could ever hope to give.

Perhaps that is because it is not a game.